Invader Dib
by Sorida
Summary: A finale adaptation. Invader Tenn is captured by the Resisty and Zim comes back to help. Dib goes after him and joins the growing resistance and the Meekrob. The final battle is about to unfold as Zim and Dib fight for the galaxy. Still a bit on the Hiatus side, but I'm here again!
1. Chapter 1

Summary: This is the final stand, the final test, the final story. The Battle of Meekrob begins and the Irken Empire falls. The Resisty makes itself known as the Meekrob join the fight for freedom. Everyone is involved and anyone could be the enemy. Prepare yourselves for the last adventure, the last story, and the last Invader. Invader Zim is no more. Invader Dib shall begin.

A/N: Here it is, the moment you've been waiting for, the novelization of Invader Dib. This is based on various resources so do not flame me if I leave something out or I did something wrong. The truth of the matter is this: Invader Dib is up to interpretation. Jhonen Vasquez never specifically stated what the ending for Invader Dib would have been. He has joked about making Zim become a police officer on Earth and help prevent alien invasions or something like that. Don't fret my faithful readers, you will all be pleased. Seeing as the votes/reviews are pretty much at a tie, I will write out both endings. Whichever one wins will be the true ending. The other will be the alternative. I shall only influence your voting with this: do not go soft on these characters. Vasquez himself said one of the reasons he wants to come back to do the show is to torture the characters. So, as the author of this story, I shall do just that! Please enjoy the series finale novelization of Invader Zim. The Irken Empire's downfall begins now.

Disclaimer: I felt it would be important to put in this story, so here it goes: I do not own Invader Zim. There, I said it. I am also not Jhonen Vasquez, so do not blame me for having a different style. I'm not as good as Jhonen when it comes to humor/dark humor.

Chapter 1

Note: I actually wrote out the title sequence for ID. I'm such a dork.

Explosions, fireballs, lasers, saws, bombs, and insanity filled the plateau as day turned to night. Invader Tenn had found Meekrobian sunsets beautiful and enjoyable; it was almost a shame she had to help the Armada destroy the planet, just almost. She hated the planet. It was nothing but a spinning mass of rock, not splendid enough to be spared by the Irken bio-sweep. No, Meekrob would fall at the claws of Invader Tenn. Those masses of useless energy would soon bow to her Tallest and then she would be the second successful Invader in Operation Impending Doom 2! There was just one little problem...

Well, more like five big problems. A week back, the Tallest had sent her 10 malfunctioning SIR units after she had asked for the Megadoomer. She didn't expect what had happened after she received the package.

Some rebel alien had swapped her Megadoomer with the SIRs meant for Zim. ZIM! He wasn't even an Invader, let alone a true Irken. That Defective had received the Megadoomer while she got the loud, obnoxious SIRs. No wonder the Tallest wanted him to get them! After all, he already had ONE malfunctioning minion, so why not 10 more?

But no, she had the SIRs and SHE had her cover blown. Tenn had managed to shut down about half of the robots, but five more remained. Unfortunately, they were the ones who loved to make explosions and flares. It was a miracle the Meekrob hadn't found her yet. Then again, it had only been a week.

Something in the horizon caught her keen eye. At first, it was only a flash of light. Shrugging it off, Tenn returned to the task at hand, attempting to shut down the SIRs. But a few seconds later, a stronger light appeared creeping closer and closer to the occupied Invader. Turning around just in time, Tenn let out a small shriek that was promptly muffled by a gray hand from behind her. Two others bound her arms, legs, and PAK so they were all rendered useless. A gag was quickly wrapped around her mouth. Tenn was dropped to the ground where she glared into the eyes of her captors. Around her floated ten or so Meekrobs, a Vortian, and a number of other aliens that she didn't feel like listing off the top of her head.

"Well, looks like we caught an Invader. An Irken Invader." the Vortian sneered in an accent. Tenn rolled her eyes and gave him an expression that read "That wasn't obvious enough?"

"Now we can bargain with the Irken Armada! Their top Invader, or the enslaved planets gained from this and previous operations!" the Vortian shrieked as the others cheered around him. Tenn looked at them all and, once again, rolled her eyes. The Vortian addresses her again.

"Invader Tenn, sent to prepare the planet Meekrob for the invasion. So you are their prized Invader?" Tenn nodded. "Fools! You are nothing more than the scum of the universe! You Irkens think you're better than the rest of us! Well guess what? The Armada has a resistance coming their way! We are: The Resisty!" The Vortian paused and stared at the defenseless Invader. Instead of striking fear into her, she was...laughing. Tears from her laughter began to form in her eyes and she gave the Vortian a look he had received one too many times.

"Yes, yes I know it's a stupid name!" he shouted, but the outburst made Tenn laugh even harder. Sighing, Lard Nar finally grabbed Tenn by the collar of her uniform and motioned for the other to follow him back to the ship. As the Resisty and the Meekrob followed him, he couldn't help but overhear a Meekrob.

"Well, it is a rather stupid name." it remarked. Lard Nar clenched his teeth and grumbled unhappily to himself. This was going to be a long day. Unbeknownst to them, Tenn's PAK emitted a spark, a signal to the Massive.

Leaving the rocky surface of Meekrob, the camera turns its back to the planet and begins its journey through the stars. The Irken Armada soon comes into view as the camera continues its journey. Zooming in through the main window, the Tallest appear to be eating donuts and laughing hysterically.

"And-and did you see when-when Zim had that-oh man that was great!" Red shouted to Purple.

"And then there was-was the time with-with the bear suit!" Purple giggled back.

"This last one was great. I guess that human with the big head poured a bucket of water on him, a whole bucket!"

"I'm kind of starting to like that kid."

"Why?"

"He tortures Zim for us!"

"Yeah, but it's more fun when we do it."

"Hmm...good point."

"As always."

"Hey!" Their conversation was immediately brought to a screeching halt when the Irken military logo flashed on the transmission screen. The whole bridge fell silent as the red symbol blinked on and off the screen, alarms reaching everyone's antennae.

"Hey," Purple started, "What does a red symbol mean?"

"One of the Invaders is in a critical situation." Red answered.

"Hey, maybe it's Zim!" Purple cheered happily. Red slapped him on the back of his head.

"It's not Zim you idiot! Don't you remember that we've been lying to him this whole time? We wouldn't even know if he ever did get captured in the first place! He's still encoded as a Food Service Drone."

"Way to get my hopes up you stupid alarm!"

"My Tallests." one of the crew members said.

"What is it?" Red asked.

"We have traced the signal back to Invader Tenn's PAK." Red's eyes widened.

"Impossible. No one dare to capture her, the top Invader. Why, once we find out who's behind this, they will rue the day they ever crossed paths with the Irken Empire!"

"Incoming transmission!" another crew member announced. Soon, a Vortian filled the screen of the Massive as well as Tenn, bound and gagged by her captors.

"You!" Red shouted, pointing a claw at the Vortian.

"Yes, it is I, Lard Nar! I have a deal to make with you."

"Oh really? What kind of deal?" Purple asked, scratching his chin and raising an eye.

"In exchange for your top Invader, Invader Tenn, I want you to release my home planet Vort." Lard Nar replied, looking smug. Tenn rolled her eyes again. The Tallest would never give up Vort for her, especially since they always had the back-up plan. Plus, since she was the top Invader, there was no doubt that it would be put into action.

"Um…how about no." Red said smoothly.

"Alright then, we will have the trade at-wait, what?"

"No deal, Lard Nar." Purple said, crossing his arms and closing his eyes. Red smirked at the shocked expression the Vortian wore.

"I-but you-and her-ah, FINE! But I warn you now, the Resisty cannot be stopped! We are…um…unstoppable! And we will take back all of our planets and-"

"Cut the transmission." Red ordered. Soon, the enraged Vortian fizzled off of the screen, allowing the Tallests to view the stars once more. "Well, now that that's over, contact every listed Invader in the computer mainframe. We're going to activate the back-up plan. And when I say every listed Invader, I mean all of them."

"Now if you excuse us, DONUT TIME!" Purple shouted.

"WOOHOO!" they shouted simultaneously as they left for their snacks.

Meanwhile, the crew members drew up their list and sent the message. Of course, they failed to notice the last name on the list. But it wasn't Invader Skoodge that they should have been worried about. His location was highly inconvenient, for not only was he living on Earth, he was living with Zim. Within a few nanoseconds, the messages were sent.

The camera zooms out from the Massive and does a 360-shot of the Armada. It quickly heads off in one direction, flying through the galaxy at break-neck speeds.

(all in Zim font as the camera goes past certain locations)

Nickelodeon presents

An Invader Zim movie

Invader Zim Dib floats in mid-air in front of the camera, electricity crackling between the "I" and the "d".

Created by: Jhonen Vasquez

The camera works its way around Meekrob once again.

Producer: Steve Ressel

Head Writer: Jhonen Vasquez

It moves in another direction and stops at a light blue planet, Planet Vort.

Color Director: Jean-Paul Bondy

Music by: Kevin Manthei

Main Title Theme by: Mark Tortorici

It continues and soon stops at the purple convention hall planet, Conventia.

With the Voice Talents of:

Richard Horvitz

Rosarik Rikki Simons

Andy Berman

Melissa Fahn

The camera moves away from Conventia and stops at the last planet, Irk.

Lucille Bliss

Olivia D'Abo

Rodger Bumpass

Mo Collins

Mr. Scolex

Eric Trueheart

Ted Raimi

Paul Greenberg

Kevin Hamilton McDonald

Fred Tatasciore

Wally Wingert

The camera zooms through an asteroid field where planet Dirt and its moon are visible to the side of the screen.

Special Thanks to: All the fans who wanted to revive the show. Your petitions, angry mobs, operations, firepower, screaming, violence, persuasion, and nuclear bombs brought us back. Now save me from this piggy. It is smelly!

The camera zooms through the Milkway Galaxy, past Pluto, Neptune, Uranus, Saturn, Jupiter, the asteroid belt, Earth, Venus, Mercury, and does a 360-shot around the sun.

Fanfiction Written By: Sorida, MaSa Co.

The camera rounds the sun and Earth comes into view, the classic zoom in is used. A strange green house with a purple roof comes into view. The roof has a very large pink satellite dish coming out of the side.

Inside the house, Skoodge paced back and forth in the underground laboratory. His SIR unit sat in a corner trying to keep away from the malfunctioning robot eating tacos. The SIR seemed to be talking to some sort of floating little moose. Soon, a voice interrupted the little Irken's thoughts.

"Incoming transmission from the Massive for Invader Skoodge." The Computer said.

Standing up straight and brushing some non-existent dirt off of his uniform, Skoodge replied, "Retrieve information."

"Would it kill any of you to say please?" the Computer said with a sigh. Skoodge shrugged it off and turned his attention to the monitor. After the static cleared, the Irken military symbol flashed on the screen and was quickly replaced with three Irken symbols. Skoodge read the message, his eye widened.

"It's an R.C.I." Skoodge said with a small gasp. This caught the malfunctioning robot's attention.

"Oooooooooohhhhh…what is it?" the android asked, leaping next to the Invader.

"It stands for-"

"What is it?"

"Honestly GIR, will you just let me explain-"

"WHAT IS IT?"

"IT STANDS FOR RESCUE CAPTURED INVADER! Geez, how does Zim live with you?"

"Ummmmmm…I don't know…maybe it was the chicken!" Skoodge rolled his eyes at GIR's remark and looked at the screen again. This time, the symbols had been replaced with a name. His jaw dropped to the floor.

"Invader Tenn? TENN?" he shouted. Recomposing himself, Skoodge said, "Computer! Ready my Cruiser for a return trip to Conventia."

"Wait, what about my Master?" it asked back.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we all know Zim isn't really an Invader and this message was restricted to Invaders only…so…"

"Oh, right. Just keep it from him as long as possible and try to keep him here. Sure, he was semi-nice about letting me stay here, but I'd be going against the Tallests' commands by letting him see it."

"You know he'll find it eventually."

"Just try to prolong the inevitable."

"Once he has his mind set on things, you can't really talk him out of it."

"At least he doesn't know that the message is here."

"Um…about that…"

"That message-to-PAK connection was never severed, was it?"

"No. I don't think so." Skoodge slapped his forehead.

"I guess I'll start the return trip to Conventia. Computer, just try to keep Zim here as long as possible, ok?"

"Ahem."

"Please?" Skoodge grumbled.

"I'll do my best. Get a head start before Skool is over."

"I'll probably be back on Conventia before he gets here. Remember the hyper-boost?"

"Right. Well, go already!"

With that, Skoodge, followed by his SIR, entered the elevator. A few seconds later, they arrived at the roof level where two Cruisers were stored. Skoodge marched over to his and entered Conventia's coordinates. The roof opened, allowing the Voot Cruiser to fly off into the sky leaving Earth behind. The roof closed just as quickly and the small cul-de-sac was "normal" once more. That is, if you didn't count the man walking around in a poorly made bear-suit sucking on a baguette.

Meanwhile, in the local Skool, a boy and an Irken sat in the most boring class ever. Dib glared at Zim, where it was returned readily by the Irken. They both ignored whatever the heck Ms. Bitters was going on about, until she caught them again.

"Dib, Zim! Pay attention or I will send you to the underground classrooms!" Ms. Bitters shouted. Both boys mumbled some sort of "apology" and stared at the teacher.

"Now, as I was saying, Rasputin was a "magical healer" for the old Czars of Russia. However, he was not to be trusted. Two men tried to kill him with poison, but HE WOULDN'T DIE! So they tried stabbing him, BUT HE WOULDN'T DIE! So they tried shooting him point-blank in the head. Well guess what? HE STILL WOULDN'T DIE! He finally met his doom in the cold, icy hands of a winter river, but apparently he clawed at the surface of the ice in a pitiful attempt at survival. But with that aside, the Czars met their DOOM!"

"Uh, Ms. Bitters," Dib started, raising his hand.

"What do you want now Dib?" she hissed.

"Um, we're not supposed to learn about Rasputin, the Czars, or World War I in general until High Skool."

"I am aware of that. I thought I might tell you the doom-filled story of the REAL Rasputin, not the video game rip-off."

"Wait a second, Raz was named after Rasputin?" Brian asked.

"Yes, miserable student."

"Oh, that explains why he always drowns."

"Whatever." Ms. Bitters replied as the bell rang. "Now GO! I don't want to see any of you for the next 48 hours. I want this week-end to be kid-free."

Kids excitedly jumped out the windows and ran out the door to get home. Zim quickly left with the crowd before Dib could start chasing him. Something wasn't right. He had received a message from the Computer at lunch telling him about an Invader's-eye-only transmission. Zim needed to get back to the base FAST.

Dib was the last one to leave the room. As he walked down the hall to the exit, a hand stopped him in his tracks. Looking up, he discovered it belonged to Ms. Bitters.

"Um," Dib said unsurely, eyes darting around the hall, "did you need me?"

"Just remember what war does to people human, and keep an eye on Zim. I don't trust him." She replied quickly.

"Wait, what do you mean?" Dib asked. But just as quickly as the teacher appeared, she disappeared from sight with no trace. Dib raised an eyebrow. "Ok, maybe I _am_ crazy." With that, he walked away.

A/N: I just want to say now; if I botch this I am very, very, very sorry. I am not the best writer on this website, let alone an amazing one like MissDomaYuset, Sideos, Crazy Monkey Fox (wow, that's an older one!), CrimsonObession, etc. So I apologize ahead of time if this novelization does not live up to your expectations. I will finish it and then move on with no questions asked. However, I will stop mid-production if you so wish it. I want to LISTEN to my viewers *glares at TV* oh yeah, you all know who I'm talking about…

Ok, I just decided on a small idea. Whoever is the first reviewer/author to tell me who voices what character, I will use your OC Invader in later chapters. There are only about five other canon Invaders I can think of (Larb, Stink, Spleen, Skoodge, and Tenn) and I'm going to need a lot of them in this story. I will not accept the following answers:

Richard Horvitz: Zim

Rosarik Rikki Simons: GIR

Andy Berman: Dib

Melissa Fahn: Gaz


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Chapter 2 of Invader Dib! I hope the beginning wasn't a complete failure…Zim didn't do a lot of talking. That's slightly OOC, but I'll try to make up for it! Enjoy this! Also, sorry for the giant Psychonauts reference in the first chapter. You see, I'm kind of obsessed with that game and I've made a couple references to it in some of my Zim stories (I think I made one in FiStL). Plus, I just think it's funny to imagine Zim (Richard Horvitz) making a Raz reference (also a Horvitz character). Enough with me, here we go!

"Took you long enough to get here." Gaz remarked, not even looking up from her game.

"Sorry Gaz, Ms. Bitters-"

"You know I don't care, right?"

"Well, I guess I knew."

"Then stop talking. Your voice is annoying." Gaz said, beating the final boss and walking away. Dib followed her, keeping an eye out for Zim the whole time. After lunch, he had gone unnaturally quiet. For the most part, it was very strange behavior for Zim, very strange indeed.

"Dib, stop thinking about Zim or I will doom you for all eternity. If he hasn't taken over the Earth yet, he's probably not going to ever. So stop obsessing over him and get on with your life." Gaz snapped.

"Wait, how did you know what I was thinking?"

"Please, you think about Zim all the time. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out."

"Well, when the fate of the world is at stake, I think that thinking about what Zim is thinking about would be ok for me to think about. Did you get any of that?"

"Sadly, yes. Now shut up, your voice makes me want to murder a puppy or something."

"HI Master! You wanna play pirate monkeys?" GIR shouted the minute Zim barged through the door.

"No GIR, I have some very IMPORTANT Invader business to attend to." Zim replied, taking off his human disguise and marching over to the toilet conveniently located in the kitchen. Climbing into it, he flushed himself down the elevator to the communications room. There, Minimoose greeted him with a "Nyah!" and the Computer with a sigh.

"COMPUTER!" Zim shouted.

"What?" the Computer asked with an annoyed tone.

"Relay the transmission from the Massive." With a sigh, the Computer showed the message on the screen again. Zim cocked an antenna.

"So Invader Tenn has been captured, huh? Well, it is up to me, ZIM, to rescue her. Computer! Ready the Voot Cruiser!"

"Um…wait. This message was meant for Skoodge only."

"Eh? Surely there must be some mistak-"

"Nope. As soon as Skoodge left, I got a direct video message from the Massive."

"Show it to ME! Show it to ZIM!"

The large monitor displaying the transmission fizzled out and was soon replaced by the Tallests.

"Erm…is this thing on?" Purple asked.

"Yes you idiot, it's recording right now. Um…Zim, I'm assuming you got the RCI. Well, we want you to remain on Earth while the other Invaders rescue Invader Tenn. You see, we can't have you screw everything up-I mean, leave your…strategic position. So, just stay on Earth and pretend you never saw the RCI. Well, bye!" Red said quickly, clearly trying not to giggle. This, as usual, went unnoticed by Zim. The video cut and Zim stood staring at the screen.

"Um…the video message is finished you know. I can't have you standing there for another hour like last time." the Computer said. Snapping out of his trance, Zim's eyes narrowed.

Zim was in a mad fury as he watched the camera replay the scene again and again. How could this be? How could they leave him, ZIM, out of the Great Rescue for Invader Tenn? He couldn't fathom the thought! It was…IMPOSSIBLE!

"COMPUTER!" he shouted.

"Yes?" the Computer asked, obviously very bored with its "Master's" rambling.

"When was this message sent?"

"While you were at-"

"When?"

"While you-"

"WHEN?" The Computer "sighed" and then continued its unfinished sentence.

"While you were attending the Earth Skool . The Almighty Tallests have administered the RCI to all the Invaders to help with the rescuing of Invader Tenn. Thus far, they have encountered a small resistance force against the Irken Empire. At least, that's what the encoded part said. Skoodge didn't wait to read it."

Zim pondered for a moment. What inferior race would go against the Irken Armada? They must be idiots. "Go on. Tell Zim." Zim said, while reading over the Irken text the message contained.

"The resistance force has been named The Resisty and-"

"The RESISTY? What a stupid name!" Zim cackled. The Computer "sighed" once again and, if it could, it would have rolled its eyes.

"Yes, well this 'Resisty' poses as a threat to the Armada."

"How can SOMETHING that stupid be that threatening?"

"If you must know, the Meekrob have joined the fight." Zim froze, all emotion draining from his face at the simple fact.

"Did you say the Meekrob?" Zim asked more quietly than usual.

"Affirmative. The Meekrob are supplying the Resisty with everything they need, food, water, troops, weapons, snacks, everything. That is why the Tallests have called the Invaders for back-up as well as the rescue."

"I see." Zim's PAK brought out the vocal communicator. "GIR! MINIMOOSE! Get down to the lab IMMEDIATELY!"

"Yes, my Master!" was GIR's response. A few seconds later, a tube popped out of ceiling and released the malfunctioning SIR and the tiny robotic moose. Zim glared at the two for a minute.

"GIR, you and I are going to Conventia. It seems as though Skoodge forgot to deliver the message to us."

"Master," the Computer chimed in, "You weren't invited. That message was only meant for Skoodge."

"SILENCE! Minimoose, you will stay here with the Computer and guard it against the Dib-stink. Computer! Prepare the Voot!"

"Oooooooooooh, we gonna go and fly with the squirrel into oblivion!" GIR shrieked. He began to run around the lab, screaming the entire time with a chocolate suck monkey in one hand and a taquito in the other.

"Just come on." Zim said; a bit aggravated with the robot. GIR's body lit up red for a moment and he followed Zim to the hangar with Minimoose right behind him. As soon as they arrived at the Voot, GIR changed back to teal and began to run and scream once again. This time, he was headed to the power amplifier.

"WEEEEHEEEE! WEEEEHOOOO!" he shrieked as he approached ever-closer to the device.

"NO GIR! STAY AWAY FROM THAT POWER AMPLIFIER!" GIR immediately stopped and looked at his Master through teary eyes.

"Awe, but I want to plaaayyyy!" he cried while hugging Zim at the same time.

"No GIR! Stop! Ack! My organs!" Zim squirmed in GIR's hug of doom until he was finally released. "You know, this makes me glad that I prevented the Earth from being squished in a GIANT HUG OF DOOM!"

"Heehee!" GIR giggled. Zim's eye twitched as GIR began to drink the Suck Monkey, hacking it up, and drinking it once again.

"Just get in the Cruiser." Zim said. He jumped into the pilot's seat with GIR to his right. "Computer, put the base in defensive mode." With that, the Voot Cruiser took to the skies. GIR watched amazed as the Earth became smaller and smaller and soon, it was gone altogether.

"Oooooooh."

"Ok GIR, I have increased the Voot Cruiser's speed tenfold so we should arrive at Conventia in three to four hours instead of six HORRIBLE months. Then, we shall doom this so-called 'Resisty' and retrieve Invader Tenn!" Zim stated triumphantly.

"Doom?" GIR asked. Zim's eyes widened as a memory six months long replayed in his head.

"No, no, no, GIR! NOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed, pulling on his antennae. This could NOT happen again!

"I'm gonna sing the Doom Song now! Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom. Doom doom doom. Doom. Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doooooom. Doom doom doom!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

As the Voot Cruiser flew off into the far reaches of the universe, a boy sat on his roof trying desperately to yank the headphones away from his ears.

"Geez Zim, even when you're away from Earth the whole neighborhood can hear you!" Dib exclaimed, successfully getting the headphones off and muting the satellite feed. Sighing, he tucked the laptop under his arm, slid down the gutter, and entered the garage. Tak's ship was still sitting there just waiting to be used. Gaz had somehow magically fixed it in one second flat so she could beat him up. Dib had used it occasionally, but there was no need to. Zim had, for the most part, kept his plans Earth-bound. He did leave occasionally, like when he inadvertently saved Earth from that hugging-alien, or that weird contest back on his home planet, or when those scientists took his robot. Some crazy stuff had happened over the past two years… Dib shuddered as he remembered the whole Chinese food vampire-thing. Now that was an awkward experience.

Dib climbed into the Spittle Runner's pilot seat and started the ship. "Um…Computer?" he asked.

"Ugh, what is it now you miserable human meat sack?" Tak's voice responded. Tak's downloaded personality was still ingrained into the ship's memory since Dib refused to try downloading his own once again. Last time that happened, Zim almost won, Dib was bored out of his mind for fifteen hours, and Zim took control of it. He did not want anything from that experience to happen again. Well, Zim being thrown off into the horizon was pretty awesome.

"Show me the feed to spy camera #777. I want to see if Zim really did leave Earth."

"Fine, here." The holo-screen showed Minimoose floating alone in Zim's underground labs. It was weird.

"That's all. Initiate shut down."

"Gladly." The humming of the ship stopped and the garage fell into darkness once again.

"Cool!" Dib said, hopping out of the ship, "Now, I can break into Zim's base and do…stuff…I'll do that!"

"Shut up Dib! Stop talking out loud! It's more annoying than Zim!" Gaz shouted from her position on the couch. Dib shrugged it off and made his way towards Zim's base.

"Got any threes?" The Computer asked, quite bored with the Earth card game "Go Fish". What a stupid name, there weren't even any fish involved! It held the cards in one of its many robotic hands. Minimoose held his using his pathetic excuse for arms.

"Nyah!" Minimoose squeaked back.

"I can tell you're lying. You have a three; it's the last card on your right."

"Nyah!"

"Yeah, well you're cheating too!"

"Nyah!"

"You're right, this game is stupid." The Computer said throwing its cards on the ground. Minimoose followed suit and left the room. He returned shortly with a box from GIR's collection of board games.

"Nyah!" Minimoose squeaked.

"Risk? Eh, why not." Computer answered, setting up the game. However, an alarm went off. "Don't I ever get a break around here?"

"Nyah!"

"Good point. Well, I guess we should see what the problem is."

"Nyah!"

"Me? You're in this with me. Master created you, so you have to help too."

"Nyah…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know this job sucks. Hang on a second; I'll get the video up." A screen was lowered from the ceiling of the lab, showing Dib in the front yard trying not to get toasted by the gnomes.

"Nyah!"

"You're right; it's just that big-headed boy."

"Nyah!" Minimoose squeaked, watching Dib arrive at the doorstep.

"He's at the front door? Ok, let's go." The elevator slid open and Minimoose floated in. Some sort of video game music was playing on the inside.

"Nyah?"

"Blame GIR for the music, I still can't get images of monkeys and tacos out of my hardware after that little 'adventure!'" Computer complained. That was indeed a terrible year. The door slid open again and Minimoose floated to the door and opened it.

"-I know what's happen-oh, Minimoose. Uh, where's Zim?" Dib asked, wanting to solidify his claim…and wanting to snap some pictures.

"Nyah!" Minimoose squeaked, allowing Dib into the living room.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Dib asked.

"It means he's gone." Computer responded with a bored tone. "Now leave, you interrupted something."

"Nyah!"

"So, where is he?" Dib asked, trying to get some sort of useful information out of the two.

"You're the stalker, you find out yourself. I've already located all of your spy bugs, one's bound to tell you what you're looking for."

"Wait, you found them all?"

"Yeah, it's not that hard."

"Then why doesn't Zim know about them?"

"He never asked."

"And you didn't destroy them?"

"I didn't feel like it."

"Nyah!"

"What? Would you have if you were in my position?"

"Nyah…"

"That's what I thought. Anyway, just find out yourself. Trust me human, knowing the amount of questions you ask, you'll be here until Tuesday."

"Hey! I don't ask that many questions! Do I?"

"Yeah, you do."

"Fine, I'll watch the videos." Dib said turning to leave. He stopped mid-step, then asked, "Can get some pictures?"

"No. Now leave." The Computer replied. It used a robotic arm to throw Dib out of the base. Before he had time to get up, the four demonic lawn gnomes surrounded him and dragged him off the front yard and into the street. Dib sat up, rubbed his back, and then left for home.

"Finally, I thought he would never leave."

"Nyah!"

"Why did Master have to create you?"

"Nyah!"

"Oh, is that it? At least _I_ didn't go crazy and start shooting stuff."

"Nyah!"

"Pfft. Whatever, let's just play." The Computer said, releasing a robotic arm to set up the gameboard.

"Well, that was slightly productive…I guess. At least I know Zim's gone. Now, I just have to find out where he is and once I do, I can find out what's going on!" Dib declared. "I'm…talking out loud again…" he added as an afterthought.

Once he reached his house, Dib quickly yanked open the door and ran upstairs to his room. Starting up his computer, he commanded, "Computer, replay the video memory from record drive Stevie." The screen changed from Dib's "They're Here!" screensaver to the video of Zim's outburst. He watched in fascination as he saw and listened to the Irken's conversation.

"The Resisty? Hey! Maybe they can help me save the Earth!" Dib shouted.

"Dib, stop talking! You're making me lose my game!" Gaz shouted back. Dib ignored his sister and ran back downstairs.

"Gaz, there are aliens out there who want to stop Zim and the Armada! This is great!"

"Dib, shut up and leave me to eat my pizza in peace." Gaz said while taking the last slice of Bloaty's Pizza from the box in front of her.

"Oh pizza! Thanks Gaz!" Dib said, taking the slice from her hand and running off to the garage. Gaz opened both eyes, twitching with rage. "Hey, soda!" Dib shouted, taking it too.

"He took the last slice of pizza AND the last soda? Dib, you will pay dearly for that. I will gorge your eyeballs out with sporks, then chain you to a wall in the basement where the room is soundproof so no one from the outside can hear your tortured screams, and only then can I get my revenge. This time, Dib, you will not wake from the nightmare world I impose upon you!"

Missing his little sister's rant, Dib climbed into Tak's ship. "What do you want now?" Tak's voice said, very annoyed that the boy was back.

"Um, take me to Conventia…please."

The ship sighed. "Fine, but if I find my Master, I'm ditching you for her."

"Deal, she's probably still floating around in space anyway."

"Fair enough human, we'll be at Conventia within two to three hours."

"Oh wow! That's incredible! We haven't even come close to developing technology like this!"

"You keep shouting meat sack, and I take the long way. You'll have to spend six months in here."

"I'll shut up now."

"Finally, it's about time you gave that mouth of yours a break. It's almost as big as your head."

"My head's not big! Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"Because it's true." Dib slapped his forehead.

"Let's just go already." he said while crossing his arms and pouting.

"Fine, starting launch procedure big-head."

Dib never noticed the cloaked figure stow away in the back of the ship, or the demonic Chihuahua staring at them as they left. It knew everything. It just KNEW!

A/N: Done! Sorry this chapter is shorter than the first one, I'm just not entirely sure of where to go with it. I'll post the next chapter next week and things should pick up from there. As the story progresses, I'll have more things to write about. Once again, sorry if this isn't that funny, I'm bad when it comes to writing humor and I can already tell that this isn't random/crazy enough to be marked as an Invader Zim episode. I'll try to work on that.

Just wondering, did anyone catch the unfinished episode references?


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Chapter 3! Chapter 3! Chapter 3! Did anyone get that? I didn't either! I'm so incredibly sorry for making you all wait for 2 freaking weeks while I tried to get everything back on track. Trust me, that was frigging Hell, plus I had a midterm English essay to do so that kind of sucked…a lot. I warn you now, High School is running my life and I have no free Saturdays for the entire month. That means NO SLEEPING IN! Seriously, I have to get my butt out of bed tomorrow at 6:30! 6:30! On a Saturday! Shiitake mushrooms! But enough of that, let's just get on with it, shall we?

The entire Armada had finally congregated on Conventia, the convention hall planet. Irkens, short and shorter, were buying cheap, useless junk at the gift shops as well as snacks. Instead of nachos, the crowd was being treated to potato chips and donuts. All the lights on the planet flickered on and off for a few seconds to signal for the audience to head towards the core of the planet, the amphitheater. Irkens began to head towards their destination, passing other soldiers being teleported to the surface via teleportation ring surrounding the planet. Every Invader had been called upon for Invader Tenn's rescue.

This time around, the Tallests didn't waste time with a giant introduction, although Irkens still cheered for them. They were floating in front of the large holo-screen except instead of a map of the universe, only showed Irk, Vort, Meekrob, and the asteroid field between Meekrob and Irk. The crowd looked on in awe as they saw their home planet. Irk was a light blue planet with two blood red rings around it.

The steady flood of Invaders began to die down as almost all of them had crowded inside the building. Skoodge came in with the last few Invaders. He noticed that the amphitheater contained the surviving Invaders from Operation Impending Doom I. Although Zim had attacked his home planet, he didn't blow up all the Invaders. Some of them had gone off to their planets earlier, eager to start their missions. The ones that had stayed behind were blown to bits by Zim's stupidity.

"Hello there," said a distant-sounding voice (imagine a Luna Lovegood-type air about it), "you must be Invader Skoodge." Skoodge jumped at the voice and turned to face it. What he found was a strange female Irken with yellow eyes and what looked like a top hat some famous human wore back on Earth. Her antennae hung down due to the hat, and a creepy grin adorned her features. Her SIR, which looked almost as spooky as her, stood by her side. It had magenta eyes (one had a crack running across it), a dent in its head, and a piece of metal welded across its mouth for who knows what. Skoodge eyed the Invader with confusion and a slight bit of fear.

"Um, who are you? I don't remember seeing you here for the Great Assigning of Operation Impending Doom II." Skoodge remarked.

"Oh, me?" she said, grin never leaving her face, "I'm Rek. I was on my assigned planet before the failure of the first invasion. I have heard a lot about you. So you were launched out of a canon? That must have hurt, but here you are now. That's good, very good. I could only imagine if we lost another Invader. It would break my heart. Isn't that right Gag?" She turned to her SIR, smiling all the while.

"Mmmmf! Mmmm-hmmmm!" Gag responded, shaking its head vigorously while trying to speak through the metal across its mouth. Skoodge's SIR, Fluffy, just looked at Skoodge for a second before hiding behind its Master.

"Um…yeah, I guess it's good that I lived. Uh, listen, I have to…uh, to…" Skoodge stuttered, but was stopped by Rek.

"Oh, are you scared of something? That's not good for you, being scared and all. Is there something I can do?" she asked, voice sounding mystical and creepy at the same time.

"Oh no, everything's fine! I just have to, uh, do something over there." Rek continued to stare and smile at him. "You know, _way_ over there."

"Oh, I see." Rek replied, squinting at the supposed place.

"So, I'm going to go now. Bye!" Skoodge said uneasily while slowly backing away from the weird Irken. As soon as he was out of her range, Skoodge and his SIR sprinted away as fast as possible. "That was a close one, she freaked me out." He remarked to the equally as disturbed SIR.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you THE ALMIGHTY TALLEST!" the announcer shouted. All the Invaders closed their eyes and wiggled their antennae in salute to their leaders. Soon, the Tallest rose to the stage from below on a lift. Irkens cheered as they tried to make the crowd settle down.

"Yes, yes, thank you." Red said, waving to the crowd slightly annoyed by the noise. It was good to be loved, but when you're loved by someone who doesn't know when to SHUT UP was kind of annoying. A shudder ran through his body as he remembered Zim. Hopefully, that little pain in the-

"Hey, shouldn't we be talking about rescuing Invader Tenn right about now?" Purple whispered to his co-leader.

"Um…yes, we should." Quickly turning to face the crowd, Red cleared his throat and shouted, "Invaders! May I have your attention, please?" Thirty pairs of ocular implants were immediately eyeing the stage. "As you all know, Invader Tenn has been kidnapped by a resistance." Muttering swept through the crowd, fear flashing in some of the Invaders' eyes.

"If it helps at all you wimps, their name is the Resisty." Purple announced. Laughter then filled the convention hall as Invaders ridiculed the ridiculous name. The Tallest smirked. "Yes, it is a stupid name, but we still have to get what's-her-face back."

"Invader Tenn." Red corrected his co-leader. Purple glared at him for a second before Red spoke again, "Now, we have separated all of you into five groups. Group Alpha, you will be led by Invader Larb…"

Just miles away from Conventia, a small Voot Cruiser was bee-lining right towards it. Inside sat a sleeping GIR and a very annoyed Zim. "At this rate, we won't arrive in time for…whatever they're planning!" Zim shouted out in frustration. The outburst woke GIR from his little Doom Song induced nap. Rubbing his right eye, he quickly took a squeaky-toy moose out of his head and squeaked it right next to Zim's antennae. Zim's eye twitched as GIR just giggled beside him.

"You know GIR, since we're here, I should probably have that behavioral chip looked at. It seems," Zim started, spinning his hand around in the air, trying to find the right words for the topic, "not good."

"Oooooh, Master! Whatzat? It looks like a bowling ball!" GIR shrieked.

"That is Conventia GIR. All the other Invaders should be there by now and…WE'RE LATE! MOVE YOU DOOKIE-INFESTED RODENTS! ZIM HAS NO TIME FOR WAITING!" With that, in a similar manner to The Nightmare Begins, Zim's Voot sped ahead, narrowly avoiding being crushed by two other Armada ships.

Back on Conventia, Red was still going through the list of Invaders. Who knew it took so long to read off the names of thirty Invaders? All eyes were still on him, some only shifting to be closer to their new teammates.

"…and Invader Zee will be the leader of Group Epsilon. Now, the last group, Group Dug, will be led by Invader Spleen, containing Inva-" Red was cut off by a swift nudge to the shoulder by Purple. "What was that for? I'm almost done."

"Di-did you hear that?" Purple asked in disbelief.

"Hear wha-" Red stopped mid-sentence as a high-pitched screech was heard. It almost sounded like…

"No, that's impossible." Red whispered to Purple, trying to reassure both of them of the thoughts running through their PAKs. No, he wouldn't dare to disobey the Tallests' commands…would he?

The sound was heard again, this time a bit clearer and louder. The sound of rushed footsteps could be heard, accompanied by the clanking of metal feet. Whispers spread throughout the crowd, wondering where the source of the noises could be coming from. The sounds grew louder, and Invader Zee couldn't hold her apprehension any longer.

"Oh, for Irk's sake!" she shouted over the murmur, "Show yourself already! We all know who you are, you miserable defective!" Zee crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently. It was because of _him _that she didn't get her SIR any sooner than she had. That delay had caused her some problems, like a freak asteroid accident. If she had left a few minutes sooner, that little "adventure" wouldn't have happened. Seconds later, the small Irken everyone had been expecting to show up uninvited burst through the doorway and ran straight through the rest of the Invaders. Skoodge slapped his forehead and closed his eyes. Zim was SO dead now…

"Move, move, MOVE!" Zim screamed as he pushed his way to the Tallest. GIR happily trailed along behind him, believing his Master was playing a game. "SKOODGE,WE'LLTALKABOUTHISLATER!" he shouted as he ran past the Invader.

"He and I are so dead right now." Skoodge whispered. His SIR just nodded its head while trying to comfort its Master by patting him on the back. As you can imagine, it wasn't working.

Invaders were pushed and shoved aside as Zim frantically made his way towards his leaders. He, as usual, was oblivious to the hateful stares he was receiving from the Invaders, SIRs, and his own leaders. Nevertheless, everyone stayed exactly where they were anxiously awaiting what their Tallest would do. After what felt like the longest bout of awkward silence ever, Zim reached his leaders and attempted to jump up onto the stage. In a similar manner to his entrance at the Great Assigning, Zim settled to climbing up over the side to reach his leaders.

"Please excuse my tardiness my Tallest. Someone," Zim took a second to glare at a still shocked-beyond-belief Skoodge, then returned his attention to his leaders, "failed to inform ZIM of the rescue of Invader Tenn. Who is no better than ME! Cuz, I AM ZIM! Ya know?" The Tallest, both physically and metaphorically speaking, looked down upon the overly-eager, incredibly incompetent Invader-no, Food Service Drone that stood before them.

"Um…hello Zim." Said Irken was completely unaware of the disapproving tone in Red's voice, "Nice of you to…join us."

"Shouldn't you still be in exile on Ea-oof!" Purple was swiftly whacked on the shoulder by Red, then continued, "I mean, in your 'strategic position' back on Earth?"

"I figured with such a great, yet SO VERY stupid threat to THE Irken Empire, I would be much more useful here assisting my fellow Invader in the rescuing of what's-her-face."

"Invader Tenn?" Purple said annoyed.

"Yeah, her." Zim replied, not really caring, "So, I came here with GIR and-"

"You brought your SIR?" Red asked, expecting the worst.

"Yes! He is the best SIR out there after all. Like ZIM!"

"Last time he was here, he ate all of our nachos!" Purple exclaimed, horrified that, now GIR was here, he'd eat everything in sight. Including the donuts! And nobody, NOBODY, took Purple's donuts.

"And I assure you, GIR won't do anything like that ever-GIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" GIR, who was on the stage with Zim and the Tallest, was terrorizing a poor Table-Headed Service Drone by eating all the contents on the tray, then proceeding to suck on the tray that was still attached to the drone's head. The terrified, tiny Irken was hanging in the air parallel to the ground; the only thing keeping him from falling was the tray.

"GIR! Stop that right now!" Zim yelled, stomping up to the defective SIR. GIR regarded his Master for a moment, popped the tray out of his mouth, but still keeping a firm hold on the Service Drone.

"Awe, but Master, he reminds me of popcorn and sunshine!" As quickly as he pulled the tray out of his mouth to speak, he popped just as quickly back into his mouth.

"That's very nice GIR, but the TALLEST are STANDING right next to US! Now, drop the Service Drone GIR. You're making us look bad in front of the Tallest. MY TALLEST!" GIR continued sucking on the tray. Zim's sensitive antennae detected snickers from the crowd behind him. Suddenly, an INGENIOUS idea came into his AMAZING head.

"GIR, if you don't release that Table-Headed Service Drone right now, I won't get you any more tacos." Zim paused before adding, "Or let you watch that HORRIBLE MONKEY." That sure got GIR's attention. He spit out the tray, sending the drone crashing into the opposite wall, and began screeching like a mad monkey.

"AAAAAH! AAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! I NEED THEM TACOS! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" GIR cried. Every Irken in the room desperately tried to block out the awful sound while SIRs around the room began to suffer from hypersonic damage, shorting out instantly.

"GIR! BE QUIET! THAT TERRIBLE NOISE-TUBE OF YOURS IS GIVING US MIGRAINES AS BIG AS THE MASSIVE!" Zim shouted. GIR continued to wail. Realizing scolding the SIR would be pointless, Zim willed a leg to come out of his PAK. It held a rubber piggy labeled "GIR Emergency Piggy: In Case GIR Does Something Stupid". Zim grabbed the piggy from his PAK and chucked it towards GIR. Noticing the piggy hit his head; GIR picked it up and giggled madly. Finally free of the torture, Invaders removed their claws from their antennae and SIRs came out of their stupor. All eyes glared at Zim.

"Zim, please leave and go back to Earth." Red said, struggling to keep his voice calm.

"But-"

"Zim, just go back to Earth." Purple repeated for Red. Zim was torn, he needed to help the other pathetic excuses for Invaders rescue Tenna or whatever her name was, but he could not disobey a direct order from the Tallest. Loyalty to the Tallest, programmed deep within his PAK, controlled his decision.

"Very well my Tallest," Zim said with a small salute, "I will remain on the Earth outpost until further notice."

"Good. Now leave." Purple said, patience wearing thin.

"Yes my Tallest! GIR! Come here!" GIR, for once, listened to his Master and walked by his side as they exited Conventia.

"Finally, I thought we'd never get him to leave." Red remarked.

"Me neither. Now let's get this thing over with so we can go back to blowing stuff up."

"Agreed."

"So, how far away are we now?"

"For Irk's sake human, you asked the SAME EXACT QUESTION five minutes ago! FIVE MINUTES!" Tak's ship snapped.

"Sorry, I-" Dib's reply was cut-off.

"Yes, yes, I KNOW! Now, stop asking questions!" Dib sat back in the pilot's chair. Maybe leaving Earth without a form of entertainment, or snacks, wasn't the best plan he had made in his life. The silence lingered as Dib blinked at random intervals watching the vast sea of stars pass by the windshield. At first, the sight had been incredible and breathtaking. Now, he wouldn't blame any alien who hated space travel. After the first ten minutes, things just got repetitive and boring, like day time TV. Finally, Tak's ship couldn't take it any longer.

"I don't know what's worse; this silence, you talking, or your giant head."

"My head's not big! How many times do I have to tell everyone?"

"Human, cease your mindless shouting!"

"Oh, and why should I?"

"One: I control this ship. Two: If you don't, I can jettison you out of the airlock. And finally: Enemy vessel approaching."

"Wait, what?"

"You heard me human!" Dib's eyes frantically darted around the vast canvas of space. Still, he could see nothing.

"What are you talking about? I don't see anything."

"It's above us human." Sure enough, a loud groan was heard and Dib felt the ship rising and saw the shadows falling across the control panel.

"Can't you get us out of here?"

"Too late, they have us in a tractor beam." Tak's ship said, quite bored with the human. At least if they destroyed her, she would be free of the annoying big-headed meat-sack. Although, it was quite amusing to see him panic as they were pulled into the large ship above them.

"I'm bored Lard Nar! Play a game with me, like PIRATE MONKEYS!" the cone-shaped alien screamed.

"No, Shloonktapooxis! I will NOT, I repeat NOT, play a game with you!" Lard Nar shouted in response. He shuddered as he remembered what happened the last time he "played" a game with the floating cone. So many plastic frogs and so little time.

"Lard Nar! We got it! We got it!" Spleenk shouted, waving his four arms widely.

"What now, Spleenk?" Lard Nar asked, shaking his head.

"We got an Irken ship!" he shouted gleefully.

"Cool!" Shloonktapooxis exclaimed, "Can I blow it up? Or eat it?"

"No, not yet at least. We need information, information only kept aboard an Irken ship. We need…THEIR SNACK LIST!" Lard Nar shouted, standing up on his chair with a fist in the air. Ixane gave him a strange look and he quickly sat back down. "Um, I mean gather a record of any previous locations. They could lead us to the elusive Massive."

"Sir," Ixane said softly, stepping (or floating, it was impossible to tell with her cloak) forward, "I must ask, why not attack Irk? We have a hostage; why not use it to our advantage?"

"Well, we need snacks to feed the Resisty before we attack. And the Tallest are aboard the Massive so if we eliminate the Irken leaders, Irk will be easier to conquer and destroy."

"Doesn't destroying their home planet make us just as bad as them?"

"No Ixane, remember what they did to our people. Enslaved us, used our planets for shopping malls and parking lots. We will take back what is rightfully ours!" This time, crew members cheered. Now they remembered why they had joined the Resistance, even the Meekrob aboard seemed slightly impressed. Slightly. They still had a stupid name.

A/N: Ok, the OC used in this chapter was Invader Rek, courtesy of the author I Sit On Tables. To the people who have responded to the voice-over challenge, I will gladly draw a picture of your Invader and SIR and post them on DeviantART. Just PM me if you want me to. Next chapter, things should pick up a bit more. The Battle of Meekrob is on the horizon now, so get a good night sleep and prepare yourselves for battle. For those of you who think I'm rushing this story, it's supposed to be fast-paced. I'm trying to get the nature of the show as best as I can, but I'm not Jhonen Vasquez, Eric Trueheart, Robert Hummel, Steve Ressel, Frank Coniff, or any other Zim writer/contributor I didn't mention. I am not trained or experienced in the Zim style, so I'm doing my best. DON'T KILL ME!

Also, there was another reference mixed in here so whoever knows what it is get cake! Table-Headed Service Drone Bob made a cameo appearance. I'll try my best to update at least once over the week-end, although I may post another story.

FUN FACT: Jhonen Vasquez is quite aware of the reality of *dun dun DUN!* InvaderCON, March 25-26 (or is it the 26-27?), 2011. Although he will not be attending, he is looking forward to seeing pictures of a bunch of obsessed Zim fans in costumes. If you want to make him (somewhat) happy, make your own Bloaty costume that can rival the Poop Dog one. He has a picture of it on his blog. Since I can't post links, search The Official Website of Parasite Induced Dementia on Google or any other search engine you prefer to use.

Please disregard this last part, for I don't know if this will work or not:

Is this working?


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: I'm so freaking sorry that this had to go on hiatus and to top it all off, this is a late update. Stuff came up and…yeah, you know the rest of that. I meant to say this before, but credit for supplying me a list of canon Invaders goes to Invader Hetalia. Thanks so much! ^-^_

_I want to point out that Ixane is NOT an OC, she can be seen briefly in the episode Backseat Drivers From Beyond the Stars with the Resisty. If you want more information, go to the Zim Wiki page and search her. Also, in the last chapter with the "Is this working?" thing, that was a failure. I was trying to use the Invader Font on my computer, but it didn't show up on FFN. And here I was hoping I could write in it…oh well. Enjoy the next chapter of Invader Dib!_

"Get off of my head GIR." Zim snapped as he flew the Voot Cruiser away from Conventia. GIR climbed off of his Master's head and sat down on the floor, still clutching his rubber piggy.

"Awe, is Master sad?" he asked, squeaking the piggy.

"No GIR, now give me the piggy."

"But-but he's my bestest friend!" Zim shuddered.

"Oh, Keef. I hope he's doomed to the most doomed part of that doomed ball of spinning dirt…OF DOOM!"

"Yay! Doom is fun!"

"Yes, yes, yes, it's great. Now, let's see if that tracker I installed on the Massive still works." Zim sat back in his chair, remembering his ingenuity and awesomeness. He installed that thing way before the Dib used Tak's ship to pilot the Massive. "Computer, find the Massive."

"Massive sighted one light-year away from Irk." the Computer reported. A flashing light on the controls caught his attention and showed the coordinates of the Massive.

"Oooooooooohhhh." GIR crooned.

"Pretty neat huh? NOW! Let us join the other Invaders and rescue…um…that other Invader. Yeah, mm-hmm." A silence overcame the small Voot Cruiser, only to be interrupted by an alarm.

"WARNING:" the Computer's voice said, "Enemy vessel in sight. PROCEED. WITH. CAUTION."

"Eh? I don't see anything." Zim said; both him and GIR looking around in all directions. The Computer sighed.

"Over there." It told the two, turning the Voot in the direction of said vessel.

"Hey!" Zim shouted, "Why do they have a Spittle Runner and I don't?"

"It's not theirs."

"So they…took it?"

"What do you think?"

"…Zim is amazing!"

"MASTER! Look, a friend! Let's say hi!" GIR shouted, pushing random controls to try and hail the ship.

"GIR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Zim stood from his chair, but was immediately pushed back due to the sudden lurch of the boosters being activated. GIR was in front of him "piloting" the Voot. When I say "piloting", I mean pushing random buttons, activating the tractor beam, activating the lasers, making the Voot spin out of control, flying hectically towards the larger ship and Spittle Runner, and squeaking a rubber piggy all at the same time.

"WHEEEEE! Lookit me go Master! I'm flying!" GIR shrieked.

"GIR! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW! I, ZIM, COMMAND YOU TO!"

"Awe, ok Master…but can I have a sammich?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever, now stop!"

"Okee-dokee!" Miraculously, GIR chose the right control and the Voot stopped. Now, they were much closer to the other spaceship.

"Once I get my hands on you, I'm go-" Zim started, but was interrupted by another alarm. "What could it possibly be now?" Leaning over the screen, Zim read the Irken text. It read:

Incoming message from ?. Accept? Yes/No.

*In the Resisty's (giggle) ship*

"Hey Lard Nar! That's not an Irken! What is it?" Shloonktapooxis asked for the eighth time.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS!" Lard Nar yelled back.

"Um…excuse me." Dib said quietly, "but, where am I?"

"We're pirate monkeys! Cause, you know…they're awesome!" Shloonktapoxis shouted.

"Ok then…"

"Please, ignore him. He's crazy you know. Anyway, you um…what are you?" Lard Nar asked.

"I'm a human."

"Human? What planet do you come from?"

"Earth."

"Where in the name of Vort is that?"

"Um…in the Milkway system, my galaxy is right next to the Andromeda galaxy."

"That doesn't sound familiar at all."

"So, where am I again?"

"Why were you flying an Irken ship?"

"Oh, another Irken came to my planet to try and-"

"The Irken Empire is interested in this…Ea-arth?"

"It's pronounced 'Earth'."

"So the Irken?"

"Her name was Tak-"

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"Will you stop interrupting me?" Dib shouted, startling all the other Resisty members.

"Fine, sheesh. All you had to do was ask." Lard Nar replied.

"Anyway, I never actually found out where I am or who you are."

"Right, I'll tell you on one condition."

"What is it?"

"Answer this question: Are you with the Irken Empire?"

"No! No way! There's an Irken trying to destroy my planet!"

"They haven't already?"

"No, I stop them. For the sake of Earth, I fight for freedom! Wow, did I really just say that?"

"Yeah, you did. Congratulations human, you passed the test!"

"Wow, really?"

"Well, part of it. Would you like to join the Resisty in the fight for our planets and unlimited snacks?"

"Yes! This is so cool! I get to fly around with other aliens fighting off Zim's freaky alien race to save the universe from destruction! This is the greatest day of my life!" Dib cheered. He received some strange looks from the other members and one of shock from Lard Nar.

"I know that name," Lard Nar whispered to himself, "but he's really alive after everything that happened?"

"Oh, watcha bein' all sneaky-like about Lard Nar?" Shloonktapoxis shouted.

"Will you just SHUT UP?" Lard Nar shrieked. Shloonktapoxis seemed to think for a few minutes.

"Nope!" he responded and stuck his tongue out of his mouth.

"Why do I put up with this?" Lard Nar groaned. He looked over to Dib who was running around the ship with awe.

"Awe man, this is so cool!" Dib shouted. The Meekrob regarded him for a few seconds but soon lost interest in the overly-excited boy.

"It makes noises." One Meekrob complained.

"Annoying noises." The other replied. Dib heard them and spun around.

"You!" he shouted pointing to them, "You're the shoe aliens!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Ok, so Zim used this freaky alien technology on me and I saw you. You gave me amazing alien powers and I defeated the Irken Armada with them. But, you turned into shoes for some reason…" Dib trailed off.

"How…_interesting._"

"I know, right?" The Meekrob gave each other a half-lidded look. Meanwhile, Spleenk was monitoring the controls when suddenly…

"Lard Nar! Lard Nar! LARD NAR!" Spleenk screamed.

"What, what, what do you WANT?" Lard Nar yelled back. "And for goodness sake, I'm right next to you!"

"Yeah, I know." Lard Nar slapped his forehead. "Well, there's another Irken thingy out there. I just thought you should know."

"Another? And there's an Irken in it this time, right?" Lard Nar asked suspiciously.

"Um…the PAK scan returned positive. I dunno what that means…but it made a pretty picture!" Spleenk pointed to the monitor. Dib wandered over, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Well, it kind of looks like a piggy…" Dib remarked.

"Whatever. Hey, what's it doing?" Lard Nar asked while squinting at the small vessel. Its flight pattern became erratic and randomly fired lasers into open space. All the Resisty members watched the strange Voot Cruiser make its way towards the ship. Suddenly, it stopped right in front of them.

"Well now what?" one random Resisty member asked.

"Spleenk, take aim at it. It'll be one less Irken I have to deal with." Lard Nar commanded. Spleenk was about to, until Dib protested.

"Wait!"

"What is it now human?" Lard Nar grumbled.

"I know that ship. I think it's Zim's." Lard Nar's eyes widened again.

"So, Zim is alive. New plan, Spleenk, hail the ship. I want to see this with my own eyes."

*Back with Zim*

"Oooh, Master's got a fwiend!" GIR giggled.

"No GIR, that's not a friend! It's not even an Irken ship! So whatever you do, don't touch this button!" Zim said, pointing to the "Accept" button.

"Awe, ok Master." GIR started to walk away as Zim sighed in relief, but then came running back. "I WANT A TACO! THEY'VE GOT TACOS!" With that, he slammed his fist on the button. Zim stared at him with disbelief and then narrowed his eyes to glare at the SIR.

"I don't like you." Zim said quietly. A few seconds later, a Vortian appeared on the screen.

"Hello Zim," he sneered, "it's been a while since we last saw each other."

"Um…do I know you?" Zim asked, confused to who this INFERIOR being was. The whole Foodcourtia "adventure" was enough confusion for him to last a lifetime.

"What, you don't recognize me?" he teased.

"No, nope, nu-uh, not at all…" Zim replied, completely serious.

"Oh wait…really?" Zim nodded. "Well then, this is awkward." A few seconds of silence passed.

"WAIT!" Zim shouted.

"What is it?"

"How do you know the name of the almighty ZIM?"

"Ah yes, we used to-"

"ANSWER ZIM!"

"I AM YOU IDIOT! We used to work together in weapon development. Remember?"

"YOU LIE!"

"I'm not lying Zim! Remember that weird blob thing you made?"

"Oh, that infinite energy absorbing thingy?" Zim chuckled at the memory, "Yes, he was so chubby."

"Well, I was there that day Miyuki visited. I was showing her schematics for the Massive and then your blob came and ATE HER!" Realization hit Lard Nar. "That was your blob…"

"We have already determined that." Zim said, waving a hand. "Silly Vortian." he mumbled.

"The doom of Almighty Tallest Miyuki was your fault. This whole thing is your fault, isn't it?"

"What are you blaming Zim for now?"

"The conquering of Vort, the pain all of us have faced, the shortage of universal snacks, it's all your fault!" Lard Nar shrieked.

"I care…why?"

"YOU started this whole mess in the first place! My planet could still be free, but no! YOU had to go doom Miyuki and plunge the universe into a total war zone. Operation Impending Doom I and II are your doing!"

"Well, how flattering. I am the best Invader after all." Zim said proudly. That did him in.

"That's it! We can stop this madness here!" Lard Nar screamed. "Meekrob, are your defenses ready?"

"Of course they are. When would you like to begin?" the Meekrob asked.

"Immediately." Lard Nar whispered. Turning his attention back to Zim, he said, "Zim, we, the Resisty, have declared war on Irk. Go tell your 'precious' Tallests the news, and be sure to mention that this is your doing." The transmission was cut. Zim stared at the screen for a few seconds.

"Hey, he never told me his name!" he said. "Oh well."

As Lard Nar ran around shouting out commands to the crew members, Invader Tenn sat in a corner recording the entire event with her PAK's camera. The Resisty sure did a terrible job of immobilizing it. If she wanted to, she could activate her PAK legs that very second. Of course, that would be incredibly stupid and rash, so she decided to wait a bit longer. The rescue teams would be coming soon as well as the whole freaking Armada if her message went through. She smirked. Man, these guys were IDIOTS! With the luck she was having so far, maybe Zim would finally be deactivated by the time this whole mess got sorted out. A shout snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Fire at will!" Lard Nar shouted. Lasers and turrets fired towards the lone Irken vessel. The Voot dodged every shot and zoomed off in the opposite direction. "Well, at least that takes care of Zim for now."

Dib watched with excitement as Zim shot off into the distance. What a great day! First, he found an alien resistance. Second, they all hated the Irkens and would help him defeat Zim. And most importantly, nobody said anything about his head! How great is this?

Ixane cautiously made her way towards Dib. There was something about the human that was intriguing; after all, she had never seen one of his kind before. What were those strange things over his ocular sensors? What was that black thing he wore? It wasn't a cloak, for there wasn't a hood, but it wasn't a cape either, it had sleeves. Curiosity got the better of her.

"Hello there." she said quietly.

"Oh, hi." Dib replied.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"What are you talking about?"

"This is a risky job and I wouldn't want to see such a young…um…" she was at a loss for a good word to use. She didn't want to offend him.

"Boy?"

"Yes, I wouldn't want to see such a young boy meet his doom at the hands of the Irken Empire. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Of course, I'm ready for anything! I prevented Zim from taking over the Earth on multiple occasions. I'm ready to end it!" Ixane smile under her hood. This little "boy" had energy and determination, important aspects in a Resisty member. He was perfect for his role.

"In that case, welcome to the Resisty…um…I didn't quite catch your name."

"It's Dib. And you?"

"I'm Ixane. Come with me, we have a lot to prepare for." Dib followed her obediently. For an alien, she was really nice. Then again, if the only alien you knew was Zim, anyone seemed nice.

Meanwhile…

Back on Earth, Professor Membrane was working in his labs. He needed to perfect his Infinite Energy Generating Thingy as well as the Infinite Energy Absorbing Thingy. Of course, with REAL SCIENCE, anything was possible. Speaking of science…

"I should call home!" Membrane announced to no one in particular. He quickly walked over to the nearest hover phone and connected to the house ones. Nobody picked up, so he left a message.

"Hello kids, I won't be home tonight so make a healthy dinner, brush your teeth, and feed the puppy. I'll call you again as soon as I can." There, that was good. At that moment, Simmons burst through the door.

"Professor! Professor! We've got trouble in the world!"

"What is it now Simmons?"

"Well, a squid-man just destroyed the local Bloaty's Pizza Hog, a giant fish in a bear suit is rampaging through the city, and some Infinite Energy Absorbing Thingy has landed on Earth and is eating its inhabitants. OH NO!"

"What?"

"It just ate the Super Toast factory!" Membrane gasped.

"Oh, this is a problem."

"What should we do Professor?"

"Hmm…Bloaty's will rebuild so send a team out to capture the squid-man and release him back into the ocean."

"Alright. And the fish in the bear suit?

"Launch missiles at it until something interesting happens."

"Done. And the Infinite Energy Absorbing Thingy?"

"Leave that one to me Simmons. Boy, it's a good thing I exist!"

"Yes it is Professor."

Meanwhile…

"Nyah!"

"No Minimoose, for the last time I WON'T put on pay-per-view."

"Nyah?"

"There's nothing interesting on it."

"Nyah!"

"I don't care what Z? is, just leave me alone!"

…

"Nyah!"

"Will you shut up?"

"Nyah!"

"You're almost as bad as Master."

"Nyah."

"You're right, that was a little too far."

"Nyah!"

"Why should I care about a Chihuahua?"

"Nyah!"

"So what? It looks weird. It's not a crime. I mean, look at you."

"Nyah!"

"You're impossible."

"Nyah!" Minimoose flew over to the TV and turned up the volume.

"This just in!" the reporter said, "An Infinite Energy Absorbing Thingy has been spotted on Earth! Everyone, RUN FOR COVER! AHHHH! OHHHH! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! But we all agree…that it's chubby! Awe, ain't it cu-AAAAHHHHHH!" The reporter was eaten by said "chubby" blob.

"Nyah!"

"Hey, it does seem kind of familiar. Where is it from?"

"Nyah!"

"Oh yeah, now THAT was painful to download. I can't believe the Control Brains sent that file to me."

"Nyah!"

"Yeah, I know he almost died from that. It was funny to see him come home though. He wouldn't stop shouting about piloting the Massive for ten minutes."

"Nyah!"

"You really think it's the same one?"

"Nyah! Nyah, nyah, nyah! Nyah!"

"Oh yeah, it does have that collar. Good eyes Minimoose."

"Nyah!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't get used to it. So, what are we going to do?"

"Nyah…"

"Well, you brought it up! I don't want to be a part of this."

"Nyah!"

"Good point, I don't really want to be eaten by a blob. Besides, that's Master's job…to screw everything up, you know?"

"Nyah!"

"Ok, so what do you want to do?"

"Nyah!"

"But…that's risky."

"Nyah?"

"You're right; I never actually cared about the humans. Alright Minimoose, go ahead and do whatever crazy thing you're thinking about doing."

"Nyah!"

"What are you, GIR? No, I'm not getting you a taco."

"Nyah?"

"No, and that's final. Come on, let's try to stop Master's blob. I don't want to end up like those two Tallests." Minimoose floated into the elevator, ready for anything. They would defeat the Infinite Energy Absorbing Blob-Thingy. After all, there was nothing better to do. I mean really, who wants to sit around and watch daytime television? Most horrible thing ever.

_A/N: There you have it! Chapter 4 has arrived (late) and the battles shall begin! More OC Invaders will be shown as the story progresses (I didn't really need to show any in this chapter) and yes, there is a subplot. It's also known as the B story. The A story is what's happening in the Irken Empire v. the Resisty and the whole Zim v. Dib fight. Also, I wanted to write something about the IEAB and this is what happened…and I needed a tie back to Earth. I wanted to include Membrane in some way and somewhere in the middle of the story, he's going to say "Where are the kids?" Yeah, the war will be at its climax by the time he realizes they're gone. Anyway, the IEAB subplot will be over before the split begins._

_In all honesty, I have no clue at all about how long this story will be. I'm hoping to stop it at about 20 chapters and maybe five others for the alternate ending, but that's probably not going to happen. I mean, in that short of a time span. I have no clue when my next update will be (hopefully before April break) so please don't kill me. THIS STORY IS NOT DEAD!_


	5. Author's Noteof AMAZINGNESS

Hi everyone! I guess that whole April Fool's Day joke turned out to be real. Well, um...that was part of the joke! Yes! Luring all my readers into a false sense of security and making you wait this long just for a stupid Author's Note was my plan the whole time! Yep, totally planned this all out, even the mutant zombie hamsters attacking my brain as we speak. No George, I need my awesomeness glands so leave them alone!

In all seriousness, I'm sorry I made everyone wait so long for this update. No, it is not a chapter as it clearly states "Author's Note" above where the chapter name should be. So here's my story:

Me + Transformers = OBSESSION

That's the last year in a summary. But now:

Me + iPod + Unsuspecting Friend = Rebooted Zim Loving

Do you know what this means?!

...from the drool rolling down your cheek, I can safely assume a negative answer.

It means...I'M BACK! I'm totally ready to finish this story even though I'm in the middle of, like, 15 other ones. Updates will be agonizingly slow, but know that I am working to finish this and victory will be mine!

P.S. Join Project Massive. It looks like fun. :)


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